A Chill Chat About Stuff No One Prepares You For.

The whole realm of sex and sexuality is just plain complicated in my culture. So, let’s talk about it, baby!

Kudos to those who’ve lived for 22 years without experiencing intimacy, myself included. Should I feel joy or sadness? I suppose it’s the 22nd phase when we all are happy, free, confused, and lonely at the same time. Oh, Taylor! I totally get you now. Although, do I really experience sexual attraction or am I asexual person? IDK Yet, the whole realm of sex and sexuality is just plain complicated in my culture.

Okay! Let’s talk about sex, Baby.

Sex is a biological thing determined by chromosomes and hormones. Chromosomes pass down DNA from parents to kids, and there are two types: X and Y. Guys usually have XY, while girls have XX. Then there are sex hormones, which play a huge role in development and reproduction — these come from adrenal glands and gonads. For women, that’s the ovaries; for men, it’s the testicles.

Sex itself isn’t just about the physical stuff — it can be anything from flirting to making out, all the way to actual intercourse. Sexuality, on the other hand, is a mix of emotions, thoughts, and behaviors related to attraction and intimacy.

Does having sex mean losing your worth? Nope. But society tends to complicate it, often tying virginity to the hymen. Some people think virginity is about whether the hymen has been “broken” by penetration. But here’s the truth: the hymen is just a thin piece of tissue that varies from person to person. Some women have thicker hymens, some have thinner ones, and some don’t. Unfortunately, much misinformation about it has led to unnecessary shame and judgment.

Think of it like a balloon. Some are super stretchy and don’t pop easily, while others are thin and fragile. Some balloons even come with tiny holes from the start. The same goes for hymens — some remain intact through activities like sports or tampon use, while others naturally wear down over time. The idea that a hymen is some magical indicator of virginity? It’s a total myth.

Whether you wait for marriage or not is totally up to you. I chose to stay — not because I feared “losing” something, but because I knew it carried emotional weight. Virginity (or lack of it) doesn’t define a person’s worth. That said, it can have psychological effects.

I think about how it might impact my future relationship with my future husband — whoever he may be. That moment will be a big deal, and I know some women struggle with letting go of the first person they’ve been with. The thought of “I was with him” can stick around, and I don’t want to feel that way, especially if things don’t work out. Life is unpredictable, and relationships don’t always last, no matter how much we want them to.

It’s all about making the choice that feels right for you.