My anxiety’s begging for a shovel to bury those cringe memories six feet under.

Every cringe moment of mine, living in my head rent-free and waiting to be triggered again, haunts me, fills me with angst, and makes me want to punch myself.

“Does anyone remember about my cringe moment?”

“This thing not just happened to me, right?”

“Does anyone else feel the same as me?”

“I hate when people bring back my cringe moments on the table, didn’t they have other things to consume?”

Those whispers in my head make me feel uneasy making my day right. I want to delete all the moments that shouldn’t have happened back then. I’m aware I wouldn’t have been the same without all of those crap. My anxiety’s begging for a shovel to bury those cringe memories six feet under; and frankly, the others who saw them need a little dirt nap too.

That doesn’t mean I haven’t had happy moments; I have 720 pixels of those memories in my brain cells. However, the cringe moments actually have 1440 pixels and take up a lot of memory in my brain cells. Thus, I delved into some resources and consulted with my therapist, and I’m happy to share my experience with the obstacles.

The medical terms for a mental illness characterized by anxiety, restlessness, and the fear of social scrutiny or embarrassment are Social Phobia and Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD). People with social anxiety disorder frequently experience anxiety, restlessness, and fear in social situations involving interactions with others, often related to public speaking, meeting new people, or attending social events.

Memories of embarrassing experiences can significantly exacerbate SAD symptoms, such as intense anxiety, restlessness, tachycardia (rapid heartbeat), diaphoresis (sweating), dizziness, weakness, and nausea.

Thoughts of the person avoiding situations that remind them of the incident. If you experience these symptoms, you should immediately consult a doctor or psychiatrist. SAD can be tackled through therapy, medication, or a mix of both. To get a better grip on SAD, here’s related terms:

• Specific phobia is an anxiety disorder, when you’re overly scared of certain things, like heights, snakes, or dogs.

• Panic disorder hits with sudden and recurring panic attacks.

• Generalized anxiety disorder involves excessive worry about various things.

Realizing I was worried about myself, I fixated on how people might judge me. However, I reminded myself that everyone makes mistakes, and I don’t dwell on theirs. Everyone has their own issues to deal with, so why should they dwell on mine? thus, I’m pretty sure others don’t obsess over my mistakes more than I do.

If you’re going through the same stuff as me, just know — you’re not alone. Asking for help isn’t a weakness; it’s downright brave. Don’t be shy to reach out to someone who gets you — a friend, family member, or even a therapist. Start the journey to feeling better and finding some peace of mind. You’ve got this!

~Toodle-oo!